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When A Death Occurs

When a death occurs, the order in which things need to be done often depends on where the death occurred. But, one thing should always be remembered: your heightened emotional state upon the death of a loved one. That’s why we suggest that you ask a friend for help – someone who is more able to think clearly, and give you the support you need.

AT HOME OR AT WORK

When a death occurs at home or in the workplace, a family member or co-worker should contact emergency personnel and the person’s physician if he or she was under a doctor’s care. If the death occurs at home with family or friends present, and the person is under a physician’s care, the family will want to call us directly. However, if the death occurs in a residence and no one is there at the time of death, the police will need to be notified and respond to the residence before the deceased is removed from their home. If in any case you are not sure of who to notify or what to do, you may call (703) 549-0089, and we’ll assist you in notifying the proper agencies.

WHILE UNDER SUPERVISED CARE

When a death occurs in a care facility, such as a hospital or nursing home, the professional staff will notify you and the necessary authorities. If the name of the funeral home has been left with them, the institution will notify the funeral home at the time of the death. The funeral director will contact you immediately following their notification to help you proceed. (However, we suggest you contact the funeral home immediately, so you’ve got the reassurance you need that all is taken care of properly.) If a loved one was in the care of a hospice program, a hospice representative will give family members instructions and procedures to follow. The coroner/medical examiner will be notified by hospice. Following their release the hospice will contact the funeral home. It is always a good idea for the family to contact us immediately so that we will be aware of the pending call from hospice.

WIDENING THE CIRCLE

Our staff members are experienced professionals who can provide much of the information you need, emotional support and compassionate guidance.

While you may ask the director any questions at this time, you will be able to discuss the arrangements in detail later when you meet in person. During this initial call, the funeral director will gather information to be able to transport your loved one to the funeral home.

The funeral director may ask you several questions, including whether your loved one made any pre-arrangements. The director will also schedule a date and time for you to meet at the funeral home and will let you know what you should bring with you. Others you will need to call are:

– Family members and friends

– Clergy or other spiritual advisors

THOSE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

If there is no pre-plan in place, there are several other questions that you may have to have answered in regards to the death of your loved one:

– Do I have to have embalming?

– Do I need to purchase a casket?

– What about cemetery arrangements?

– Does the family have to engage the services of a minister?

– What type of service should we have?

By contacting our staff, we’ll be able to help answer your questions and assist in making the appropriate plans. You can reach us at (703) 549-0089.

However, as we’ve said before, one of the best ways to make sure that all of your questions and desires are taken care of is to make pre-arrangements. This is as simple as outlining your wishes to having all of the details written down and the financial arrangements prepaid. Please contact one of our staff at (703) 549-0089 to learn more about pre-arrangement.

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT THE FUNERAL HOME

One of the first things the funeral arranger will do is to provide you with our general price list. He or she will then guide you through the entire arrangement process, explaining how you can create a memorable personal celebration of your loved one’s life. This is not a one-way conversation; we want to hear your ideas and desires, and use them as the foundation for the arrangement process.

This process may include:

– Preparing and filing the official death certificate

– Scheduling the location, date and time of services or events

– Selecting a casket, urn or other items

– Preparing an obituary notice

– Scheduling vehicles

– Selecting pallbearers

You may also sign necessary authorizations or make arrangements to have them signed by the appropriate family members.

We’d like you to bring any photos, a favorite song, or memorabilia so that you and your funeral arranger can better discuss how you would like your loved one to be remembered. Having these things, and knowing their favorite song or favorite gathering place – even their favorite activity – will help us create a truly fitting memorial service.

Our funeral arrangers will assist you in planning a loving tribute that captures the spirit of the person whose life you wish to honor. To learn more about personalizing the service, please read the Honoring Life section of this Web site. The funeral arranger will discuss personalization with you during your arrangement conference.

The following checklist will help you remember what information about the decedent and items will be needed when meeting with a funeral arranger.

– Full legal name- Home address

– Social Security number

– Date of birth

– Place of birth

– Father’s name

– Mother’s maiden name

– Veteran’s discharge papers (DD-214)

– Recent Photograph

– Highest education

– Occupation

– Place of burial (if applicable)

– Clothing

– Clergy name and phone number

– Survivors (name and relationship)

– Insurance policies (if applicable)

A staff member of Greene Funeral Home will be honored to explain all of the options available to you.

FUNERAL ETIQUETTE

The accepted customs of dress and behavior in a funeral have changed over time, but courtesy never goes out of style. Here’s what we’d like you to know about funeral etiquette.

MAKING THE MOST OF A DIFFICULT TIME

It’s important to know what religious, ethnic or personal considerations you need to take into account. And it’s also important to be respectful of the emotions of close family members.

Here are a few things expected of you:

– Offer an expression of sympathy.

Sometimes we are at a loss for words when encountering something as final as death. Simply saying “I’m sorry for your loss” is usually enough. Be respectful and listen attentively when spoken to, and offer your own words of condolence.

– Find out the dress code.

These days almost anything goes, but only when you know it’s the right thing. In fact, sometimes the deceased has specified the dress code; ‘no black’ is a common request. If you can’t learn the wishes of the family, then dress conservatively, and avoid bright colors.

– Give a gift.

It doesn’t matter if it is flowers, a donation to a charity or a commitment of service to the family at a later date; as always, “it’s the thought that counts.” Always make sure to provide the family with a signed card, so they know what gift was given, and by whom.

– Sign the register book.

Include not only your name, but your relationship to the deceased: co-worker, gym buddy, or casual acquaintance from the golf club. This helps family place who you are in future.

– Keep in touch.

It’s sometimes awkward for you to do so, but for most people the grieving doesn’t end with a funeral.

BUT, WHAT SHOULDN'T YOU DO?

– Don’t feel that you have to stay.

If you make a visit during calling hours there’s no reason your stay has to be a lengthy one.

– Don’t be afraid to laugh.

Remembering their loved one fondly can mean sharing a funny story or two. Just be mindful of the time and place; if others are sharing, then you may do so too. There is simply no good reason you shouldn’t talk about the deceased in a happy, positive tone.

– Don’t feel you have to view the deceased if there is an open casket.

Act according to what is comfortable to you.

– Don’t allow your children to be a disturbance.

If you feel they might be, then leave them with a sitter. But, if the deceased meant something to them, it’s a good idea to invite them to share in the experience.

– Don’t leave your cell phone on.

Switch it off before entering the funeral home, or better yet, leave it in the car. All too often, we see people checking their cell phones for messages during the services.

– Don’t neglect to step into the receiving line.

Simply say how sorry you are for their loss, offer up your own name and how you knew the deceased.

– Don’t be too hard on yourself if you make a mistake.

Everyone does, and you can be sure that an apology may be all that’s needed to mend and soothe.

When it’s all over, always remember to continue to offer support and love to the bereaved. The next few months are a time when grieving friends and relatives could need you most. Let them know that your support did not end with the funeral.

WE ARE HERE TO HELP

Perhaps you’ve got special concerns about an upcoming funeral or memorial service? We’re here to provide the answers you’re looking for. Call us at (703) 549-0089.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

We have heard thousands of questions, and chosen to provide you with the answers to some of the more common questions relating to a funeral, a funeral service and funeral homes.

WHAT IS A FUNERAL?

The funeral is a ceremony of proven worth and value for those who mourn. It provides an opportunity for the survivors and others who share in the loss to express their love, respect and grief. It permits facing openly and realistically the crisis that death may present. Through the funeral, the bereaved take that first step towards emotional adjustment to their loss.

WHAT TYPE OF SERVICE SHOULD I HAVE?

Only you can answer that question. The type of service conducted for the deceased, if not noted in a pre-plan, is decided by the family. The service is usually held at a place of worship or at the funeral home. The service may vary in ritual according to religious denomination or the wishes of the family. The presence of friends at this time is an acknowledgment of friendship and support. A private service is by invitation only where selected relatives and a few close friends attend the funeral service. A memorial service is usually a service without the body present and can vary in ceremony and procedures according to the family’s community and religious affiliations.

CAN I PERSONALIZE MY FUNERAL SERVICE?

Absolutely, in fact, we recommend it. After all, the funeral is a celebration of life. Funeral directors are happy to discuss all options and ensure your funeral is tailored to your wishes. It may be personalized in many unique ways. Contact us at (703) 549-0089 to explore the possibilities.

WHY SHOULD WE HAVE A PUBLIC VIEWING?

There are many reasons to view the deceased. It is part of many cultural and ethnic traditions, and many grief specialists believe that viewing aids the grief process, by helping the bereaved recognize the reality of death. Viewing is even encouraged for children, as long as it is their desire to do so, and the process is explained well.

WHY DO WE NEED AN OBITUARY NOTICE?

It is helpful to friends and the community to have an obituary notice published announcing the death and type of service to be held. A notice can be placed in a local newspaper, or on the Internet.

WHAT DO FUNERAL DIRECTORS DO?

Funeral directors are both caregivers and administrators. In their administrative duties, they make the arrangements for transportation of the body, complete all necessary paperwork, and implement the choices made by the family regarding the funeral and final disposition of the body. As caregivers, funeral directors are listeners, advisors and supporters. They have experience assisting the bereaved in coping with death. Funeral directors are trained to answer questions about grief, recognize when a person is having difficulty coping, and recommend sources of professional help. Funeral directors also link survivors with support groups at the funeral home or in the community.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF THE DEATH OCCURS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT OR ON THE WEEKEND?

We are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. All you need to do is place a call to us at (703) 549-0089. If you request immediate assistance, one of our professionals will be there within the hour. If the family wishes to spend a short time with the deceased to say good bye, it’s acceptable. Then they will come when your time is right.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF A DEATH OCCURS WHILE AWAY FROM HOME?

Your funeral director can assist you if a death occurs anywhere on the globe. Contact your hometown funeral director of choice immediately. They will assume responsibility and coordinate the arrangements for the return of the deceased person to their community. They may engage the services of a funeral director in the place of death who will act as their agent.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF EMBALMING?

Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body, retards the decomposition process, and enhances the appearance of a body disfigured by traumatic death or illness. It makes it possible to lengthen the time between death and the final disposition, thus allowing family members time to arrange and participate in the type of service most comforting to them. Embalming the body enables mourners to view the deceased if they wish. The emotional benefits of viewing the deceased are enormous, particularly to those having difficulty dealing with the death.

IS EMBALMING MANDATORY BY LAW?

No. But, certain factors of time, health and possible legal requirements might make embalming either appropriate or necessary. Please note that embalming may be required if the deceased is being transported by air to another country where local laws need be observed.

IS CREMATION A SUBSTITUTE FOR A FUNERAL?

No, cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment for the body’s final disposition and often follows a traditional funeral service. We can assist you with the necessary information for a funeral with a cremation following or a memorial service.

CAN I HAVE A VISITATION PERIOD AND A FUNERAL SERVICE IF CREMATION IS CHOSEN?

Yes. Cremation does not preclude having a visitation period and a funeral service. Cremation is simply one option for final disposition of the body.

IS CREMATION AS A MEANS OF DISPOSITION INCREASING?

Yes, but not dramatically.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A TRADITIONAL FUNERAL IF SOMEONE DIES OF AIDS?

Yes, a person who dies of an AIDS-related illness is entitled to the same service options afforded to anyone else. If public viewing is consistent with local or personal customs, that option is encouraged. Touching the deceased’s face or hands is perfectly safe. Because the grief experienced by survivors may include a variety of feelings, survivors may need even more support than survivors of non-AIDS-related deaths.

HOW MUCH DOES A FUNERAL COST?

Funerals can cost as little as $1000 for a direct disposition. (Direct disposition includes registering the death, a basic casket or container, and transporting the deceased to a cemetery or crematorium) For an adult, full-service funeral, consumers choose to spend an average of $5000. This includes all professional services, including transfer-of remains, embalming, and other preparation; use of viewing facilities and the facilities for the ceremony; hearse, limousine, and the purchase of a casket.

HAS THIS COST INCREASED SIGNIFICANTLY?

Funeral costs have increased no faster than the consumer price index for other consumer items.

WHY ARE FUNERALS SO EXPENSIVE?

In some respects, funerals are a lot like weddings or birthday celebrations. The type and cost will vary according to the tastes and budget of the consumer. Not only that, a funeral home is a 24-hour, labor-intensive business, with extensive facilities (viewing rooms, chapels, limousines, hearses, etc.), these expenses must be factored into the cost of a funeral. Moreover, the cost of a funeral includes not only merchandise, like caskets, but the services of a funeral director in making arrangements; filing appropriate forms; dealing with doctors, ministers, florists, newspapers and others; and seeing to all the necessary details. Contrary to popular belief, funeral homes are largely family-owned with a modest profit margin.

WHAT RECOURSE DOES A CONSUMER HAVE FOR POOR SERVICE OR OVERCHARGING?

While most funeral homes provide outstanding services, sometimes things can go wrong. Funeral service is regulated by the Federal Trade Commission and state licensing boards. In most cases, the consumer should discuss problems with the funeral director first. If the dispute cannot be solved by talking with the funeral director, the consumer may wish to contact the FTC by contacting the Consumer Response Center by phone, toll-free, at 1-877-FTC-HELP (382-4357); TDD: 1-866-653-4261; by mail: Consumer Response Center, Federal Trade Commission, 600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC 20580; or on the Internet at www.ftc.gov, using the online complaint form. You may also choose to contact the local Better Business Bureau, or your state consumer protection office.

WHO PAYS FOR FUNERALS FOR THE INDIGENT?

Other than the family, there are veteran, union, and other organizational benefits to pay for funerals. Most funeral directors are aware of the various benefits and know how to obtain them for the indigent. However, funeral directors often absorb costs above and beyond what is provided by agencies to insure the deceased a respectable burial.

Cemetery Common Questions

The answers below are here because these are the most commonly-asked questions. If yours isn’t listed, we invite you to call us. We’re here to provide the information you need, when you need it.